Cringe Minge

Dear Glace,

I am 21 years old with a head full of gorgeous dark brown hair. Recently I have been getting grey pubic hairs. I think I have a stressed out beaver. What should I do? Help!

love Eileen xx

 

Leenie babe,

Sounds like your puss is in need of some firm treatment. You need to let your waywad cat know that this is no way to behave and if it continues, you’re going to have to rub its nose in its own urine (FYI if you’re the kinky type then refusing to do this will be punishment enough). Firstly, attack your bush with some pruning sheers and cut out any unwanted grey growth.  Next get a follicular stimulant from your local chemist (I find a menthol cooling lotion very energising) and with the help of a special friend rub it into your tetchy beave. When you’re feeling relaxed make mad passionate love (you might as well, you’re in the area.). Now you’re in a receptive state your puss is able to understand what is required so get your special friend to coo a Bedouin anti growth ritual directly into your core. Finally stroke your minge and thank it for the best brown (haired) times of your life and ask that there be many more. 

If any further grey returns chop off your torso. Or get a Brazilian. Whatever works. 

Love Glace xxx  

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