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Daddy

Posted in Dear Glace advice with tags , , , , on April 23, 2008 by Glace Chase

Dear Glace,

I have always been attracted to older men. Last weekend I picked up this hot daddy from a club, took him back to my place and we had the hottest night together. I totally fell for him then and there. But in the morning when I woke up he was gone and there was $50 and his phone number on my bedside table. Not sure what to do. I think I could really fall for this guy, but he treats me like a hooker. Help! – JR

Baby,
For starters he’s paying you too little. You need at least three figures, preferably four. You give him your body, he gives you money. It’s the laws of attraction. Older men find it difficult to connect to their emotions. They’ve had a whole lifetime of disappointment to deal with. Which is why they need to pay you. You wouldn’t want to upset him, would you? As for your other misconceptions…Why does everyone assume you can’t be in love if you’re treated like a whore? I suspect you’re falling for him because he treats you like a hooker. That’s what Daddys do. That’s why we love them. So call him, needle him for money and let him find your sweet spot. You’ll be the happiest couple in the world.
Love Glace x

PS. I’d like to help more. Send me a detailed explanation of how he did you, what his preferences are, any photos you may have taken and his phone number and I’ll try to sort out the situation.

Winky Twinky

Posted in Dear Glace advice with tags , , , on April 23, 2008 by Glace Chase

Dear Glace,

My flatmate is a lazy twink. He’s just turned 22. For the last two years we’ve lived together and in that time he hasn’t had a single job interview, he sits at home all day on Manhunt and doesn’t lift a finger around the house. I’ve tried to inspire him to go out there and make something of himself, I’ve suggested he volunteer for different organisations, I’ve nagged him – nothing works. I wonder what will become of him. Is there something wrong with this generation or what? Help me!

Sweet pea
Sounds like someone is a tad jealous… How would you feel if you were 22 and your do-gooder room mate kept raining on your parade?! All you’d be able to do is surf the net looking for cheap sex too! It is a prerogative of our generation (me and the twinks) to do what we like, when we like and as deep as we like it. The only thing that will come over us is happiness. The real problem here is your age and sour inclination. There are two types of people: givers and takers. Sounds like you’re a bitter giver and envy this sweet taker. Good news – no matter how old you are its still not too late to quit that job, get some botox and find a rich man over 50 (tip: if they’re over 65 their money is easier to access). Do this and you can feel eternal happiness as well.

But if none of that works and you still want to take him down (or any other twink, myself excluded), then give him some distressing news:16 is the new 22…

Love Glace xox